Wednesday One-Liners Can Order Beers in Twenty Countries

Dude: If I added up all the languages I spoke shitty, I could probably speak one very fluently.

–Prospect Park Southwest & Vanderbilt

Loud guy on cell: Does she speak German? How do you say ‘Fuck you’ in German? … Okay, bye!

–Butler Library, Columbia University

Overheard by: Eric

Cop to others: So I said, ‘What’s your name?’ This guy don’t speak good English, you know?

–G train stop

Black guy to another: Want me to speak another language? ‘Cause I can speak other languages — Chinese, German, Arab, white…

–42nd & 8th

Overheard by: Andrew B.

Girl on cell: And he’s from Sweden, right? Well, yeah. I mean, I’m assuming since he said he speaks Swedish and all… which, honestly, I didn’t know was a real language.

–NYU dorm

Little foreign girl: Auntie, what’s English for ‘horse’?

–J train

Overheard by: MyTh

Gray-haired man to barista: Is tall ‘small’ in your language?