Wednesday One-Liners Can’t Buy Me Love

Nerdy kid to friend: Man, if I had more money, I’d totally be a goth.

–Bedford Ave station

Man on cell: The only acceptable excuse is that the plane went down, and when you emerged unscathed, the money was gone!

–Montague & Clinton, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Cait

Loud Jamaican lady on cell: Why you give my money to someone else? You transfer my money to someone else’s account! No. No. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-no. You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna come down to the bank. I’m gonna come down to the bank and tell them that’s rude!

–7 train

Overheard by: Right after afternoon tea, but before busting a cap in someone’s ass

Man at ATM, to girlfriend: Wow, I just realized I don’t need money right now, but I like coming in here so I can feel rich.

–Commerce Bank, 95th & Broadway

Overheard by: Andrea Reese