Wednesday One-Liners for Purity of Essence

Employee: Point is, I won’t waste anymore saliva on him!

–Jamba Juice, Whole Foods, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: stunned juice drinker

Guy on cell: Yeah, man! It got all sticky icky in her gooey Louie.

–In line for food, Bing

Overheard by: caitlin

Loud B&T chick on crowded sidewalk: You damn better tell me if there’s a booger hanging from my nose!

–23rd & Broadway

Overheard by: mk

Dude: I like my anal leakage as much as the next guy.

–B&H Restaurant, 2nd Ave

Overheard by: E.F.S.

Man: I didn’t mean to spit on Santa Claus — it just sort of happened.

–Near Crew Cuts

Overheard by: Dan

Girl: He’s really sweaty to sleep with, I’ll tell you that. Him and Frank both.

–110th & Broadway

Overheard by: Al E. Ro

Chick: Well, we were talking about projectile lactating…

–Washington Square