Thug: Yo, money don’t grow on trees and come out your ass.
–82nd St, Jackson Heights, Queens
Overheard by: Jobee
Old woman on cell: I came to New York to see you. Now get your fucking ass down here right now!
–52nd & Lex
Overheard by: Laughing Seattlite
Junior high kid: Well you try shoving a tampon up a dog’s ass.
–L train
Girl: It’s so hot in here I feel like I’m swimming through the swamp that is someone’s ass.
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: TommyBP
Suit on cell: I will not be disrespected like this. I ain’t gonna be disrespected! I’m a grown ass man, damnit!
–Tribeca
Guy, after being yelled at by the driver who has rammed his car: Look, just calm down. Let me explain something: you’re an asshole, all right?
–2nd St & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: johnnymac
Thug on cell: He get his ass whupped one time, he won’t testify. Plus, he all short, like 5’9″ or 5’10”, and carry all that weight. I whup his ass, we won’t have no more problems.
–DMV, Atlantic Center, Brooklyn
