20-ish chick on cell: But how can I be getting old? I just gave someone an over-the-pants handjob at a bar last night!
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Ladle
Bimbette on cell: … So I got downstairs and realized I wasn’t wearing pants!
–Barnard College
Overheard by: yeah happens all the time
Old lady to teen boy: … And so you wear girl pants?!
–10th & 5th
Overheard by: Steph
20-ish chick to dad: I don’t have Alzheimer’s — I just wear the pants.
–Schubert Alley
Overheard by: Kerry
Loud high school girl: She stood at the subway and was like, ‘Could I have two dollars for a metro card?’ And that’s how she bought a new pair of pants. She told [our teacher] that’s how she bought a new pair of pants, but I’m pretty sure it was for bud. She said it was for pants… But it was for bud.
–Manhattan-bound R train
Overheard by: Maggie
Well-dressed old lady: He wants to go somewhere, too — into your pants! Okay, that was childish.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
