Wednesday One‐Liners: Great for Your Complexion

Hot chick on cell: Important question: Which is more painful, cum in your eye, or Caesar salad dressing in your eye?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Dude on cell: … Because I’m a pastry chef, and my semen tastes like ice cream.


Ghetto girl on cell: So he said to me, ‘Suck my cum for five dollars,’ and I was like…

–St. Mark’s & Broadway

Overheard by: Stilettofem

Chick: I have no agreements for future procurement of sperm.


Overheard by: Meister

Hipster chick on cell: Why were you and Voldemort sharing sperm?

–140th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle