Wednesday One-liners Might Want to See a Doctor

Guy: I got a medical procedure. It’s a done deal. It’s called a biops.

–Highbridge, The Bronx

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Man on cell phone: You forgot the safety word?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Maggie and David

Chick: I’m going to papercut you ferociously.


Overheard by: Jess McGins

Girl: Yo, I think these Band-Aids give me street cred.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Rocio Burga

Girl on cell: I hate him! I don’t want to invite him since he rammed his head into a wall at the bar…Yeah, she’s okay…When did he get cancer?…Of course, he can be invited; he has cancer. Wait…does he like to ram his head into walls?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Clay Stewart

Woman on cell: Oh my God, I’m about to explode. I got these tight-ass pants on and my stomach is about to explode over my belt.

–1st Avenue & 2nd Street

Overheard by: Sarah Dell’Orto