Drunk female vocalist after set: Dude… Evolution… That’s, like, the theory we come from plants and shit.
–Blue Note Jazz Club
Overheard by: Bailey
Drunken derelict, burping loudly: Give it a second and it’ll come out the other side!
–6th Ave & Waverly Pl
Drunk man: I mean, it’s ironic when you think about it. Lou Gehrig winds up dying of Lou Gehrig’s disease. Then, Dr. Atkins dies of Atkins. Think about it.
–Bar, 46th St
Drunk bum: I’m not a bum — I’m an international bill inspector. My boss sent me here to inspect your bills. Who wants to give me a hundred dollars?
–Crowded 6 train
Overheard by: Stephanie
Drunk girl: I’m not drunk yet. I can still feel my lips!
–Blagio, Queens
Overheard by: Kim
Belligerent wino: I am the government!
–Caton Ave, Brooklyn
