A Wednesday One-Liner Named Wanda

Hipster girl: Of course they do! Of course they feel pain! What are you, stupid? Of course fish feel pain! I feel bad for them! [Eats her bacon and eggs.]

–Igloo Café, Astoria

Overheard by: s h

Guy waiting for yoga class to start: It was such a sacred moment. I was like, ‘Thank you, brother fish, for feeding me.’

–Om Yoga

Musician: You should come hear us tomorrow. We’ve got a new song with the rousing lyrics, ‘Take that trout and throw it out…’

–Café 212, Columbia University

Overheard by: Prefers to keep the trout

20-something chick: They have, like, the best fish ever! Awesome catfish! I didn’t have fish, though. I had tuna.


Man: Trout on a waffle!

–Jane Restaurant, W Houston St

Overheard by: Thompson