And I Haven’t Told My Parents about Us Yet

Guy #1: Dude, I was rockin’ pink American Apparel briefs and brown pants and pink and brown‐striped socks when I hung out with her! Chicks dig that attention to detail, man.
Guy #2: Keep it down, man! You sound like a fucking faggot.

–Whole Foods, 14th St

Overheard by: lil pirate