Lady: You did things to me while I was sleeping! The truth will come out! … Can I have a cigarette?
–74th & Ridge Blvd
Conductor: There is no smoking on this train! There is no smoking on this train or the platform! I repeat, there is no smoking on this train! If you continue to smoke, I will stop this train and the gendarmes will come and get you!
–Metro-North, Bronx
Dude on cell: Hold on one sec, I’m watching Jimmy try to smoke a cigarette right now and it’s like watching a Special Olympics hurdler.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: djw
Girl on cell: Try smoking it. You should try smoking it.
–26th & Broadway
Hobo peeking in train: Hold the doors for me, okay? I’m just going to have a smoke.
–C train
Stoner chick: What if we actually want to bake something? We’ll have smoked all our vanilla extract!
–Elderidge & Rivington
Overheard by: Karin
