…Goodwill to Men

Flagman: Hey man, why you drivin’ over my orange cones?
SUV guy: I need to turn here.
Flagman: You can’t; street’s closed! There’s a big ass crane coming down! See it?…What are you doing? You see that big ass crane? Why you rolling over my cones? It’s dangerous. Street’s closed!
SUV guy: I need to turn here and go down this street!
Flagman: You see that big ass crane? You wanna play chicken with that? Go one block down and come back on the other side. Take you five minutes.
SUV guy: But I need to turn here and go down this street! You can’t block a street in New York, asshole!
Flagman: It’s dangerous. Street’s closed! Back up or get outta the damned truck. What’s the matter with you? Get out of the damned car!
SUV guy: Damn it! Asshole.
Flagman: Damn! He rolled over my cones…Fuckin’ Mercedes driver! Anybody else wanna play chicken with that big ass crane?

–48th & Broadway

Overheard by: Kevin W. Eaches 

Charity mugger: Hey! My name’s Lisa and I’d like to talk to you about donating to North Shore Animal League–
Guy: Let me be honest, Lisa. I work in customer service. That means for 8 hours a day, I have to be polite to everyone I speak with and this is my lunch hour. It’s the one hour of my day where I’m not forced to be nice. I’m sure you’re a nice girl, but why don’t you fuck off?

–Broadway & Pine

Overheard by: Mr. X‑mas Tree 

Hobo: You mean to tell me no one else on this goddamn train has anything else to eat? I hope you all choke on your Christmas dinners!

–C train

Overheard by: MissHell