Little girl to people waiting to board plane: You want a grandma? We have hundreds of grandmas here.
Overheard by: detective olivia benson
Grandma, about child running with others: He runs faster than… than a little shit.
–Alice in Wonderland Statue, Central Park
Mom to kid: Do you know that purse I stole from Grandma? Hide it. She’s coming over.
Overheard by: Jeff
Grandma: If I was 50, boy, I’d be nifty. [Granddaughter stares blankly.] Yeah, if I was 50, I’d wear a leather bustiere.
Woman on payphone: I don’t care if Johnny was fucking his cousin, that don’t give you the right to steal your grandma’s credit cards!
–125th & Lex