If She Loves You, She Won’t Mind Being Disowned

Guy #1 on cell: Hey it’s me. Listen, I’m about to walk into the subway, I’m gonna lose you, I just wanted to tell you that my parents are gonna be there tonight, and I know you didn’t want them to see your tattoos the first time they met you, so I wanted to tell you so you could…oh. Hi, Mrs. Goldstein.
Guy #1 to guy #2: FUCK! I cannot believe I just did that! Her mother had no idea she has tattoos.
Guy #2: I don’t see the big deal, so she has tattoos, everyone has…wait, did you say her last name was Goldstein? I get it now.

–Astor Place