No Pins, No Pads, No Belts — Just Wednesday One-Liners

Fratboy to friends: Other than the bleeding, I’d much prefer pussy.

–Peculiar Pub, LaGuardia & Bleecker

Overheard by: Spanky Van Dyke

Wife on cell: Hon, I think I might be pregnant. I’m getting nervous. I mean, my period’s not late, but I feel nauseous.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Snozberry

Guy with hot chick: Yeah, it feels fine! Is your tampon comfortable?

–Houston & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Lazy Mr. Wiggles

Loud lady: You know what my son calls my period?

–Q18 bus

Overheard by: Didn’t hang around to hear the rest…

Female employee: My boss hates hearing about menstruation. Any time I want to get him off my back I just tell him I’m having my period. He puts his hands up over his ears like he’s hearing nails on a blackboard. If he doesn’t leave me alone right away, I tell him my napkin is soaked and I have to change it.

–Peter Luger’s, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Big Larry

Dude: What I don’t get is, how did he get the tampon in his nose in the first place?

–Lower East Side