Plus I'm His Dealer.

Teenage girl: Yeah, well… I'm *really* close with the school principal.
Teenage friend, raising eyebrow: Are you?
Teenaged girl: No. I mean really close. Like, “spank me daddy” close!
(teenage friend accidentally puts the lit end of a cigarette in her mouth and starts screaming)

–59th St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: tinyfoo