Should Have Dressed Up Like the Magdalene

Woman, 30s: So I go to his apartment last night after our date, and there’s all this Jesus stuff all over. I said, “Tell me this stuff is your roommate’s.” He gives me this shocked look. Turns out he’s born again! I was so pissed; I thought I was gonna get laid…

–Chelsea

Overheard by: Ursus Standingbear