Female conductor over speaker: Oh, I know you did not! If you wanna wait for your friends, you wait on the platform — do not hold my motherfucking doors!
–Manhattan-bound 1 train, 225th St
Young suit to another: I’m introducing you as a good friend of mine from the Bank of America, just so you know.
–Houston & Varick
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Middle-aged B&T lady: She told me she had no trouble with her friend dying in her apartment.
–375 Hudson St
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
White chick: When I was younger I used to fart really loud every time I laughed. I think that’s why I didn’t have any friends.
–Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: MaryAnnaise
Five-year-old boy throwing wad of trash at younger brother: Say hello to my little friend!
–15th & 7th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: nyamelia
Tired man on cell: You harassed me, you harassed my friends, and you cut up all my furniture… I don’t know what else there is to talk about.
–Steinway & Broadway, Astoria
Overheard by: Czarina
Tween: Yeah, and then I made my friend scratch my back with his claws… And then I got ringworm.
–Q train, 8th & Broadway
Overheard by: worldfamouscats.com
