There’s a Law Against Wednesday One-Liners in Alabama

Woman playing with touchable exhibits, to friend: You know, we never used riding crops until our wedding night.

–Museum of Sex

Hot chick on cell: I just made a first date for tonight… Fifteen minutes later I remember the hickeys I have on my neck. [Long pause, then] That said, it’s a date with a guy I met while I was wearing a collar, so maybe bite marks are, like, expected of me.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: McFreaky

Chick on cell: How can I be a submissive if we’re listening to the Eurythmics?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Ladle

Hot chick on cell: My only problem is randomly spanking strange women.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Drunk girl to drunk guy: So, after our conversation last night, I Googled ‘circle jerk.’ Is that something you guys do often?

–The Hairy Monk, 27th & 3rd