Wednesday One-Liners Are With the Band

Dr. Obvious: If you want to be a label band, you have to play like a label band.

–Bar basement, Williamsburg

Subway performer: I would like to sing you a song now, one that I wrote and I am very proud of. It goes like this, “Lean on me, when you’re not strong, and I’ll be your friend…”

–Brooklyn bound L train

Overheard by: Meg

Guy to girl: I don’t mean to be pretentious, but I have seen the Palominos live.

–CBGB’s

Karaoke singer: I realized early on that I wasn’t being sexy enough with that song, and then suddenly I was humping the air.

–Fat Black Pussycat, 3rd St & 6th Ave

Stoner: Dude, what is this band playing? Is this Phish? No, seriously. I’m really confused.

–Dave Matthews Band concert, Randall’s Island

Overheard by: Sober at Randall’s Island

Black guy: I don’t give a damn what the black people think! I want Evanescence!

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Kimmie

Waiter: I had to get out of there. I’m sorry, but I just can’t listen to Tom Waits as soon as I get into work! It’s too early for Tom Waits! Let me ease into my day first. Jesus!

–Outside Life Café

Overheard by: daile