Clerk: A fart is just a preview of your shit.
–Urban Outfitters dressing room, 6th Ave
Overheard by: NYMD
Frat boy: When she put the six pineapples in her twat, none of us thought she was gonna be able to do it. And then when she farted, there was a cucumber up her butt!
–3rd St, between Ave A & Ave B
Overheard by: Margaret Cho’s Little Sister
Fart noise occurs twice.
Woman sheepishly looking into purse, to crowd: My kid put that ringtone on my cell, and I don’t know how to get rid of it.
–109th & 3rd
Guy running out of school: Oh, thank God — thank you, Lord! Thank you so much! [Lets out immense fart.] Christ, I’ve been holding that in since lunch!
–Outside Bard High School Early College, East Houston St
Girl on cell: You know when you have to fart really bad, but you can’t because, y’know, you might shart? That’s me right now. That’s me.
–9th & Broadway
Gassy man: I hope people are enjoying the warmth from my fart!
–Times Square
