Wednesday One-Liners Got a Norplant When They Turned 11

Girl: Promiscuity is turning out to be a lot more work than I thought it would be.

–Columbia bookstore

Drunken hobo singing: Jesus loves me! Jesus supports me! [Turning to two NYU girls] Jesus doesn’t support you! [Chuckles] Whores!

–LaGuardia & W 3rd

Overheard by: TheBrit

Professor: Monogamy is depressing. When you get married you can only have sex with one person for the rest of your life. I’ve been married for 25 years, and I was on Prozac by year two. Female promiscuity is frowned upon in nearly all cultures. Dammit!

–Fordham University

Girl on cell: Oh my god! That is so funny! Wait, is she a slut? It would be so much funnier if she was a slut… Oh. Never mind.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Cassie

Bubbly high school chick: … And I didn’t know, so I just opened my legs…

–Astor Pl

Homeless man yelling at passersby: Can any of you spare a nickel in the name of alcoholic beverages? Or maybe a loose woman or two?!

–7th & Ave A

Overheard by: you gotta respect the honesty

Dad to little girl: Okay, honey, now how do we spell ‘whore’? Remember, sound it out…

–Penn Station