Creepster: Have you ever ripped out your sister’s piercings?
–72nd & Brodway
Overheard by: Ariella
Girl to friend: … And my aunt told my cousin — who is a huge slut — she told her, ‘Girl, you’re nothing but a box with a hole in it!’
–Starbucks, Worth & Lafayette St
Massive black dude on cell: You know my daughter? The yellow one? She be out all night getting fucked by some dude at a crack house. At least her sister’s decent enough to tell me when she do shit like that.
–Forbidden Planet Comics
Man: Well, I put my sister in the ER the same number of times she put me in, so I figure we’re even.
–Delancey Bar
Overheard by: Nerf
Hipster: If you don’t want to hurt your grandparents’ feelings, but you’re too afraid to tell them you’re a homosexual, just tell them you graduated from SUNY Purchase.
–Metro-North to White Plains
Overheard by: Straight alumni
