Wednesday One-Liners Got All My Sisters and Me

Creepster: Have you ever ripped out your sister’s piercings?

–72nd & Brodway

Overheard by: Ariella

Girl to friend: … And my aunt told my cousin — who is a huge slut — she told her, ‘Girl, you’re nothing but a box with a hole in it!’

–Starbucks, Worth & Lafayette St

Massive black dude on cell: You know my daughter? The yellow one? She be out all night getting fucked by some dude at a crack house. At least her sister’s decent enough to tell me when she do shit like that.

–Forbidden Planet Comics

Man: Well, I put my sister in the ER the same number of times she put me in, so I figure we’re even.

–Delancey Bar

Overheard by: Nerf

Hipster: If you don’t want to hurt your grandparents’ feelings, but you’re too afraid to tell them you’re a homosexual, just tell them you graduated from SUNY Purchase.

–Metro-North to White Plains

Overheard by: Straight alumni