Hobo: Hello, sir, I am homeless… addicted to drugs… and HIV positive, and what I need in this world right now more than anything is a bacon, egg and cheese on a croissant sandwich.
–Dunkin Donuts
Farmer’s market guy: Cauliflower is a shy vegetable.
–Broadway & 115th St
Overheard by: Lalaith
Guy on cell: Who the fuck is ‘Hamburger Helper’?
–15th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Dave the Spazz
Dad: Let’s go to Muffin Land!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Michelle
Guy: It’s like this show I did last week, where I took a human skull and I covered it in cheese products.
–The Bronx
Overheard by: Keith R.A. DeCandido
Girl, covering her ears: Don’t say ‘Cheez Wiz!’ Don’t say ‘Cheez Wiz!’
–Central Park
Overheard by: Amy
