Wednesday One-Liners Think Globally, Act Locally

Hobo: Give Germany brain cancer! Fire laser beams into the back of the brain of Germany! Men, women, retarded children! Make Germany lose their memory!

–New York Public Library

Guido on cell: Write this down. It’s P, O, A with two dots on it, N, G. It’s a chair. Poang. Two dots. Two dots. Above. How the fuck should I know? It’s Swedish.

–IKEA, Elizabeth

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

JAP: OK, Brittney, so he got blown up in Israel. Everyone gets blown up in Israel!

–Harry’s Burritos, Thompson & 3rd

Queer: See, the problem is, you go to France and there are a ton of cute guys, but they’re all French. You go to Italy, cute guys everywhere, but they’re all Italian.

–47th & 9th

Overheard by: Jack Lienke

Guy on cell: If I made out with a Venezuelan, does that mean I’m on a government watch list?

–49th & 9th

Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson

Barista: Can you grab me a tall Ethiopian by the neck?

–Starbucks, Grand Central

Suit on cell: And I said, fuck, yeah, it was the best damn sushi I ever had! Who gives a fuck if we were in Alabama… those fuckers were still Japanese, you know?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Who doesn’t love the South?