Teacher: So, for the most part you guys had really low participation grades. Then they made me sit through some psychology workshop entitled ‘The Asian Teen and Why They’re So Quiet.’ After that, I raised everyone’s grade.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: LSB
Lady with accent, to toddler: I don’t know about Asians… He just fell over, and they don’t even care! They’re just gonna leave them there!
–Faye’s Starbucks, Washington Square
Overheard by: Sydney M
White mom taking photo of Chinese seven-year-old daughter: Honey, open your eyes! Wider! Open your eyes, dear!
–Times Square
Black guy with guitar: Hey! Hey you! This song I’m gonna sing is for you, Chinese girl. [Sings] Everybody was kung fu fighting, [yells and chops the air] boom, bam! Thank you. Thank you all! I accept pennies, nickels, dimes, iPods, wallets, cellphones, sunglasses, your first born, your mama, credit cards and Asians.
–1 train
Overheard by: Brina Guild
Nerd: You can tell how good a testing location is by the ratio of people to Asians.
–Line for SATs, Martin Luther King Jr. High
Guy, regarding VA Tech: It’s not right — Asians aren’t serial killers. If they were, there wouldn’t be so many people in China. [Friends stare silently.] What? Too soon?
–NYU
Overheard by: evil new york
