FedEx guy to passerby: Hey, they’re my trousers! What are you doing wearing my fuckin’ trousers?!
–Houston & 1st
Man with water-cooler jug of coins: Please give to help the homeless. Anything can help… A smile, a pork chop, a pair of pants…
–55th & 5th
Jersey hoochie walks by, her thong showing conspicuously.
Matter-of-fact mom to eight-year-old son: That girl’s going to lose her pants.
–NJ Transit terminal, Penn Station
Overheard by: cockrin
Guy on phone: … And so I put my hands in his pants and realized, ‘Oh my god, I’m gay!’
–McDonald’s, Times Square
Little boy to mother: These pants are too small! I’m gonna get a yeast infection if I put these on!
–Target
Overheard by: The dressing room next door
