New school guy trying to impress girl: You have got to try it. It will change your life. It’s like a more mature Smirnoff Ice.
–19th & 8th
Dude on cell: … And then they beat me down, like little monkeys.
–E 7th & Ave H
Fat lady on escalator: He used to be a good-looking guy ’til he lost all his teeth. Now he’s like Skeletor with death-breath.
–Duane Reade, 34th & 8th
Actor: Thanks for letting me borrow your phone. Oh, let me wipe my sweat off of it. I sweat like a Southerner in a spelling bee.
–Loews
Overheard by: kristin
Party-goer: I saved my eye crud for years. You know, that stuff you get in your eyes every morning? And we made this guy eat it. With milk. It was like human Grape Nuts!
–S 5th St
