When Did Wednesday One-Liners Have Corn?

Hot chick: Oh, you live on Amsterdam? I used to live on Amsterdam. I threw a bowl of diarrhea out of my window once. Don’t do drugs!

–27th & 30th, Astoria

Queer: I have to buy some toilet paper today. I’m tired of wiping my ass with cocktail napkins.

–36th & Park

Tipsy dude: Do you know what’s awesome? Giant robots can’t even shit on people!

–Sly Fox bar, East Village

Overheard by: Cait O’Connor

Student on cell: Hello, professor? Professor? Oh, he’s taking a shit? Okay, I’ll call back later.

–Arthur Ave

Overheard by: Martin Van Nostrand

Girl: He pulled out and she shit all over. [Friend puts down her chopsticks.]

–Oyama Sushi

Overheard by: No longer hungry