A Slutathon of Wednesday One-Liners

Teen girl on cell: So, I ended up giving him head in a closet at Allie’s party. Am I a skank? Yes. Do I care? No.


Chick on cell: I have casual, meaningless sex. It’s what I do. It’s like a cornerstone of my life… Yeah, so why is he calling me to tell me what he’s buying at the grocery store? It’s like, ‘Call your fucking girlfriend for that.’

–E 93rd & 2nd

Overheard by: aunt petunia

Man on cell: … Coming from a woman who’s having an adulterous affair. Yes, I’m a total slut. I take no offense at that.

–Broadway, between Prince & Spring

Overheard by: Leslie G.

Saucy chick: I was hoping you had a juicy connection to him via a slutty friend at Oberlin.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Chick on cell: Of course I will be in your wedding party, as long as you don’t call me ‘maid.’ I looked up the definition, and it means ‘sexually inexperienced.’ They don’t call it ‘man-whore of honor.’

–Bus stop, Flatbush & 7th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Lala

Dude to chick: Having self respect is too hard. You should be a slut. At least for a little while.

–Chambers St

Overheard by: maria