Girl: Why the fuck is that other train moving?
Boy: Because that train isn’t fucking defective.
Girl: Whatever.
–1 train
Girl: Why the fuck is that other train moving?
Boy: Because that train isn’t fucking defective.
Girl: Whatever.
–1 train
Black woman: White men are fucking idiots! They’re morons.
–M7 bus
Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer
Teenage boy: Man, I seen that guy Q…he’s all the time going to Coney Island.
–57th St. station (Q train terminal stop)
Italian guy: …so my nephew, right? He’s so stupid I gotta make him the lifeguard at my car wash!
–Taormina, Mulberry St.
Overheard by: Eric Rexilius
Girl #1: He was a little too Spock and not enough Kirk.
Girl #2: What?
–F train
A son is moving a table into the back of the truck.
Mom: Be careful not to bend the legs when you push it in.
Son: That’s what she said.
Mom: What?
–30th and Lex
Overheard by: Tom
Girl: It's weird: I'm a cross between a radical feminist and a frat boy.
Boy: It's because you love drinking and fucking.
Girl: And critical theory!
–Rudy's, 44th & 9th
Overheard by: holden caufield
Girl on cell: So I bought this air conditioner for my living room, and it's entirely too large for me to install by myself, because it weighs 78 lbs. No, seriously, I cannot even get it out of the box. I know–for the time being I'm just referring to it as a Duchamp "readymade." Ew! Don't you call me bohemian!
–19th & 6th
Art professor: You should look at Picasso and Matisse. These people will be more important to you than your family. Cousin Philly. I had a cousin Philly, and I loved him very much. But he's dead now.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: traPt
Lawyer to friend, about Vincent van Gogh: You know, I could have gotten him disability.
–Van Gogh Exhibit, MoMA
Woman, discussing gallery: It was all modern stuff–but not, like, the kind of modern art that children can do.
–20th & 5th
Tourist boy: You can see his penis! It's not art if you can see his penis!
–Petrie Court, Metropolitan Museum of Art
20-something guy to five-year-old boy: No, Wolverine and Barack Obama are not the same person.
–Hudson Park Soccer Pitch
Overheard by: Kelli Jo
Swag guy: Get your Obama condoms, put it on when times get hard.
–7th Ave & 47th St
Overheard by: Oh no he didn't….
Hobo on train: Look at these two girls! If we get married we can make another Obama!
–4 Train
Cute boy: Captain Kirk is the Bush to Picard's Obama.
–Kent Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Trekkie
Diner to companion: Since Obama's been President, North Korea has fired like two missiles. They're testing his foreign policy, uh, you know, they're testing his gallstones.
–Teddy's Restaurant, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ken Yapelli
Sock street vendor to passersby: Socks! One dollar, one dollar! One dollar!
(nobody pays attention) Socks! One dollar! Obama! One dollar! Obama! (a few pedestrians stop to browse through his socks)
–New Chinatown, Flushing, Queens
New wave boy: You're like Lou Reed with a vagina.
New wave girl: Since when did he not have one?
Random stoner friend: Hey, do you want to get Indian food!?
New wave girl: What would Lou Reed do?
–2nd Ave &14th
Overheard by: Mischa
Whining young boy: I can handle it!
Stern mother: We have a dying hermit crab at home. You cannot handle it.
Whining young boy: But I'll feed it every day!
–3rd Ave & 16th Str
Man with bottle of booze in paper bag: Is that a machine gun or a bomb?
Boy with guitar: No, I'm just carrying my guitar.
–Train to Penn Station
Overheard by: Marcy
Puerto Rican Mets fan in day parade, singing: "Aye girl, lemme smell yo feet, aye girl lemme smell yo feet, oooh oooh oooh, lemme smell yo feet."
–Union Square
Egg-shaped man with cane, singing to the tune of "What a Wonderful World": I see little boys, and little girls, they have good parents, but they get screwed up anyway… And I think to myself, I love the babies…
–L Train
Large woman, to the tune of "We Are All One Body": "We ain't with no retards! We man's chil'ren of the world!" (female friend sits across from her) I wish I could fuck every girl in the world!
–Metro-North Rail
Thug, dressed top to toe in Ed Hardy gear, singing in Eva Gabor accent: "Dahling I love you but give me Park Avenue!"
–51st St & Park Ave
Boy in hallway, singing: "Don't want to close my eyes, don't wanna fall… (laughter from inside closed apartment) Heh-heh… Shutthefuckup!
–NYU Dorm
