(guy sits next to perfect stranger)
Guy: Are you dating someone?
Girl: No.
Guy: Can I have your number?
Girl: No.
Guy: Is it because I’m black?
Girl: Of course not.
Guy: Is it because you’re a lesbian?
–C Train
(guy sits next to perfect stranger)
Guy: Are you dating someone?
Girl: No.
Guy: Can I have your number?
Girl: No.
Guy: Is it because I’m black?
Girl: Of course not.
Guy: Is it because you’re a lesbian?
–C Train
Tween #1: Yo, you should go out with her!
Tween #2: She gon' shit in yo mouf!
–67th Ave & 164th St, Queens
Overheard by: someone who's not into that kind of thing
Guy: Of all the girls I am sleeping with or have dated, she is the one I would be least upset about if I got her pregnant.
–Brooklyn Heights
Guy #1: The thing is, dating gets so much harder as we get older.
Guy #2: Yeah, especially if you’re intelligent.
Guy #1: It’s not like you can just look at a woman and tell if she’s smart enough to date.
Guy #2: True.
Guy #1: I’d never date an Aries though.
–in line at MOMA
Teen girl #1: I like him cause he’s tough, but he ain’t thug.
Teen girl #2: Oh, he’s thug. He got that tattoo, he wears his pants all baggy and he got that great big coat.
Teen girl #1: Yeah, he got that tattoo, but them other things…he just short.
–A train
Overheard by: iiams
Young Asian woman at a party on the Lower East Side: “…and it turns out that Chris Isaak asked me out only because he has an Asian fetish, and he’s apparently dated every Asian girl in San Francisco, I was creeped out…”
Guy to friends: A girl farted on my head once, and I dated her for three years.
–14th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: MC
Woman to friend: And then he farted in my mouth.
–Ding Dong Lounge
Overheard by: Rosalind
Hobo, farting loudly, turning at girl walking behind him: That's for you, you fucking bitch!
–Yellow Line Subway Station
Overheard by: Craigalanche
Latina on cell, firmly: I'm not bi-curious, I'm just fart-curious
–49th & 5th
Overheard by: olga
Crazy hobo: Once, I was eating Cracker Jacks, you know, the one with the prize in it? When I finished the box, I farted in it, then sealed it up again. When I opened it a week later, I got the surprise of my life!
–1 Train
Overheard by: nella
Drunk girl: Sometimes, when I look at myself through the microscope of cold, hard objectivity, I think to myself, “God, you are awesome!”
–47th & 9th
Overheard by: Nick Salvato
JAP #1: It’s like, I don’t know if I’m that into him, but I could use a nice meal.
JAP #2: Is he into you?
JAP #1: I don’t know, he’s like, “Let’s do dinner and…whatever.”
–Fresh Bites, 57th & 6th
Man on cell: Yeah man, she is so not anyone that I would be willing to invest years in… I mean I don't want to have to spend my time actually working on it. I figured, hell, I kind of want to wake up next to someone a couple of days a week, so I might as well hang on through the summer. No, she has no idea…
–Columbus & 62nd St
Grad student: They have this symbiotic relationship in which he does all the eating and she does all the drinking.
–Columbia University
Woman to herself: God, I asked you for a good man; not a fucking joke!
–Spring & Hudson
Overheard by: Oscar Gamble
Firefighter to others: It's not that I have anything against commitment; I just like diversity.
–125th St Fairway
Overheard by: Just Shoppint
Man in shorts to another: I wouldn't date a girl with double vision, period.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Dr No-Eyes
Businesswoman to hobo: If you get back in the dating scene, I'll kill you.
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: Homeless guy must be hung
