Now I'll Never Know How This Abe Lincoln Biography Ends!

Driver: Attention all passengers on the left side of the bus, I believe that the reading lights on your side are broken. I apologize.
Lady on the left side: Oh god, now what do we do?
Driver (muttering): Son of a bitch…take a nap!

–Bus, Port Authority

Overheard by: Sitting on the right side laughing