Wednesday One-Liners Are Only Foreskin Deep

Man to cop: I know my dick is big, but I didn’t know it was illegal.

–Yankee Stadium bathroom

Overheard by: howie ray

Guy: My penis practically has a halo right now.

–N 10th & Bedford

Australian lady: Oh, look! It’s the penis people again!

–Bodies Exhibit, South St Seaport

Girl on cell: So, wait — let me get this straight — last night you dreamed that you were coming out of the shower, looked down, and saw my head instead of your dick? … Well, was my head in the shape of a dick? … Oh, then no, that’s not weird.

–Sullivan St

Overheard by: someone needs new friends

Big black lady on cell: His penis was about as big as… Hmmm, let me see here… Probably that stop sign over there. Yeah, that looks about right.

–25th & 6th

WASP lady to friend: … And then, I mean, you save the really expensive stuff for the penis.

–89th & Madison

Overheard by: Dani