Wednesday One-Liners Couldn’t Get into Stuyvesant

Hobo: You go to USC? I used to go there, man. Of course, I didn’t graduate… Don’t major in Chemistry. Also, don’t smoke crack.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: not planning on it

Conductor: If you do not fit through the physics of the train, please step aside — this train is not made of spandex.

–F train

Overheard by: BellaFrancine

Bimbette: I could change the world if I just opened my Biology book.

–Dorm room, Columbia campus

Overheard by: college girl

Elegant 20-ish black chick on cell: Do you truly expect me to come out to New Jersey so I can drink Rolling Rock? And listen to Matchbox 20? With a bunch of white bitches? Who majored in Psychology? … How many things are wrong with that?

–Salvation Army store, Waverly Place

Overheard by: Patrick Di Justo