Drunk British chick: She clucked and mooed, so I said twelve.
–Red Hook, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sam Jerman
Guy on cell: Did you know that one out of six people with scoliosis die every day? Yeah, I know… Ha! No, I’m just kidding. I made that up.
–Astor & Lafayette
Overheard by: Jay
Dude to chick: On a scale from one to cookie… you’re a seven.
–Central Park
Loud lady: I mean, how many times did I have my head between Greg’s legs? Only 12 or 13 times! Not that many times.
–Eugene O’Neill Theatre
Overheard by: tmoney
Black teen to his friends: Yo, I read the Bible nine times, and that shit contradicted itself like a motherfucker!
–Broadway & Steinway, Astoria