Thug: Anybody who grew up where I grew up knows there’s a million things you can do with a mothafuckin’ grape!
–23rd & 7th
Chick: Hey, plenty of people are murdered with vibrating bananas.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ein Ladle
JAP: What happens if you actually eat a whole grapefruit?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: You’ll get FAT!
Suit: I’m totally unimpressed by cantaloupe as a fruit. It’s just taking the easy way out.
–Sotto Voce, Park Slope
Overheard by: Sweet Jimmy
Lady: I feel like I’m living in a banana.
–75th & Madison
Conductor: The E train to Queens — that’s E as in ‘apple’ — is running regularly.
–A train, 14th St
Teen girl to third graders: You was teachin’ ’em a banana looked like a dick!
–19th & 4th, Brooklyn
