Guy on cell: Just take some Vicodin and smoke some pot, and you’ll be fine.
–Pratt Institute
Hipster: The last time we were shrooming, I Febreezed the shit out of you.
–5th & 2nd
Overheard by: Tim Houghton
Chick on cell: I don’t know what you’re saying, but I have a ton of weed, so it doesn’t matter.
–9th & 5th
Overheard by: traPt
Old, crunchy hipster: I’m all set — I’ve got my weed in this pocket, and my granola bar in this one!
–Zappa Plays Zappa, Beacon Theater
Seven-year-old boy: Mom, I’m allergic to heroin.
–Duane Reade, 145th St
Overheard by: I hope benadryl doesn’t cure that allergy
