Irate quasi-thug on cell: Do you value your life? Do you want to die? No, I ain’t threatenin’ you. You can’t play with a man’s emotions like that. No. Do you want to die? I’m just asking… Do you want to die? I– [second party hangs up].
–Metro-North
Overheard by: Mikey G
Crazy crackhead: I am not your average crackhead — I will kill you!
–Lenox & 118th
Lady: And the rest are buried in the… front lawn.
–Columbus Park
Overheard by: Bitch that shit ain’t right!
Puerto Rican guy: I don’t have to! The only thing I have to do is be Puerto Rican and die, because you know I don’t pay taxes!
–R train
Irish construction worker: I’m telling you, she had a clit like a dead turkey’s neck.
–LIRR to Huntington
Overheard by: Laffer
Checkout lady: If anyone tries to get in line behind you, kill ’em.
–Costco, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Nerd to another: It’s better to just fake your own death and live your life on an island somewhere.
–Broadway & Duane
Overheard by: Ronzoni
