He Can't Help It If His Butt His Griddle-Shaped

Girl: You know how your boyfriend sometimes falls asleep in my bed? You have to make him stop. Seriously.
Roommate: Why?
Girl: Because I'm going to flip shit on his ass, is why!
Roommate: Well, it's not like he…no, I'm not even going to finish that sentence.
Girl: Good.

–A Train

Overheard by: Mama Beeker