I’m Proud to Be a Wednesday One-Liner

Homeless guy: I got a sore on my left foot! Look at it! That’s what comes from being in America!

–Beth Israel Emergency Room, 18th & 1st

Doorman: So I looked her straight in the face and I said, ‘Listen, you’re in America now.’

–Mandarin Oriental Hotel, Columbus Circle

Yasser Arafat look-alike: If she’s naked, don’t go in there; I know how these goddamn American girls are.

–Bedford St & W 4th

Overheard by: Birthday Boy

Woman in exaggerated Latin accent: Run, run, American people! Run before you miss the train!

–Uptown 6 train, Wall St station

Overheard by: gay among hardhats

Guy: It’s an old American name, like in the Bible.

–A train arriving at 59th St

Overheard by: IanM

Park Avenue woman, upset because cashier didn’t have quarters: I have every right to be nasty! I’m an American! I’m a fucking New Yorker!

–23rd & Park

Spanish hipster tourist: Americans are the worst!

–Apple store, 5th Ave

Overheard by: Rich Mintz