Reports of Mr. Hefner’s Bedroom Activities Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Store clerk with thick accent: Condoms? Which one?
Old man: No! Cough drops! Cough drops!
Store clerk: Condoms? [points at condom boxes]Old man: Look at me… What the heck do I need condoms for!? Cough drops!

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Renz