Robbing the Cradle

Little boy in stroller pats a woman on the thigh reaching for a chain hanging from her pocket.

Woman: Oh, no! You don’t touch strange women! You don’t touch strange women! Otherwise they might touch you back… Oh, aren’t you a sweetheart?! [To his parents] Oh, yeah. He knows what he’s doing.

–Brooklyn-bound L train

Young thug #1: Man, you ain’t got no girl.
Young thug #2: I do, too, man.
Young thug #3: You mean that 13-year-old I saw with you the other day?
Young thug #2: She’s 16, man, and I just forgot her name.

–180th & 90th, Jamaica, Queens

Overheard by: Mehdi Hasan Sheikh