Tonight We’ve Secretly Replaced Compassion With Folger’s Crystals

Girl #1: James told me that Sara and Greg just got a dog together!
Girl #2: Oh my gawd, they’ve only been together for, like, two months!
Girl #1: I know! James asked me if I wanted to get a dog with him and I was like, “Hello, I’m not even ready to have an abortion with you yet, let alone get a dog!”

–Serafina restaurant

Overheard by: Appalled