Wednesday One-Liners Are Eating Cat Food

Newspaper hawker: Close your umbrellas, people! You’re inside! You’re going to poke somebody’s eye out! Then they gonna sue you! Then you gonna be broke! Then you gonna throw yourself down the escalator!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Brawd

Black guy on cell: Niggas with no money are contagious!

–7 train platform, 74th & Broadway

Overheard by: Robyn Z

Flight attendant: Welcome to New York where the local time is 4:37. We know that you have a choice in selecting your air travel, and on behalf of the pilot and the crew I’d like to thank you for choosing our bankrupt airline.

–LaGuardia

Overheard by: Ldartjoy

Man on cell: There’s nothing worse than a poor snob.

–115th & Broadway, outside Columbia University

Hobo: Don’t anyone wanna donate to the broke-ass foundation?

–Houston St

Overheard by: Has been helped by that organization