Gay flight attendant, frantically running down aisle: Excuse me! Coming through. Scusa, signore. Excuse me, I need to get the back of the plane. It’s an emergency! Excuse me!! [Runs past woman, stops, walks back.] Oh my God, your scarf is fabulous; did you buy it in Venice?
Woman’s husband: Did you say there was an emergency?
Gay flight attendant: Not as big as the one that’ll happen if I don’t get that scarf!
–flight into JFK
Stewardess on intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, we know it’s hot. We’re hoping to have you underway as soon as we can. In the meantime, if you’ll reach into the seat pocket in front of you and remove the safety information card, you’ll find that it makes a nice fan.
–Airtran plane, LaGuardia
Overheard by: Seat 16A
Stewardess: Ladies and gentlemen, the overhea[r]d lights will be turned off during this flight, so if you’d like a reading light, just push the button above you…The other button.
–Delta Song plane, JFK
Overheard by: Lily
