Tipsy girl to friend on phone: Who are you talking to?
Friend, suspiciously: No one!
Tipsy girl: Do I need to monitor your drinking?
Tipsy girl: Do I need to monitor your vagina?
Tipsy girl: Good, cause I don't know how I would do that.
Drunken guy from end of the bar: I can do it!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: three_eyed_fish