Teacher, after taking pencil from a student as part of a demonstration: Man, I just love stealing stuff from you kids!
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Liz
Ghetto teen looking at chick hiding her iPod: Don’t worry, I’m not gonna steal that shit. She thinks I’m gonna steal that shit. I should just steal that shit to spite her. Shit.
–B1 bus
Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl
Nerdy kid answering cell: Hello? Hello?! Hello! What?! No! No, I didn’t steal Max’s wallet! No!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Now deaf in my right ear
Guy selling watches on street: Come on, everyone, you need a watch. The best in the city, stolen from all your favorite warehouses.
–53rd & 7th
Man to lady: You lyin’, stealin’, your feet stink, and you don’t believe in Jesus.
–Target, Atlantic Center
Guy to girlfriend: …So I had to steal from them so that I could protect them.
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Surfer Dude #1
Professor: Stealing is good, okay? Plagiarism is bad, but stealing is very, very good.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Lili
