Restaurant patron: Wait, you are telling me you never wake up in the middle of the night and think you’re still in jail?
–Mottsu Soho
Overheard by: J
Guy on cell: I’ll be there in a few hours. No! Just wait! I mean can you please just not sleep all day again for three seconds?
–Canal St
Hobo: Sorry to disturb y’all! If you look at me closely, you will see some red marks. I was sleeping on the ground for a couple of days and I did not know that if you smell like food, those big rats will bite you.
–B Train
Overheard by: Jamie Paquette
Guy on cell: Hi. I’m just calling to say . . . ummm . . . I feel really bad about how things are going, how things have been. I don’t know if you got any sleep last night. I know I didn’t. But I guess I turned it to my best advantage, because I just gave the most amazing lecture. I talked for two and a half hours! So I guess I’m not totally useless to everyone.
–Chelsea Station Post Office
Anorexic dancer: Yeah, but I can’t wake up without toilet paper.
Friend: …..
Anorexic dancer: It makes sense to me.
–Meredith Wilson Residence Hall, Juilliard School
Overheard by: cherry
Patron to bartender: I mean, I sleep till 3 p.m., but that’s because I drink and do coke all the time. . . . I guess they do too!
–Barracuda
