Girl on cell: So I woke up with a slice of pizza on my stomach again last night.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Frank B
Man: You know my theory: ground beef makes anything taste better.
–6 train
Overheard by: Sol
Old woman: Give me a donut. But not a very sweet one. I’m diabetic.
–Clarkson Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: astronugget
Fat woman on cell: “Butter Lovers” or “X-treme Butter” with an X?
–Duane Reade, 34th & 8th
Overheard by: Rita
Teenage boy: I had frosted Cheerios for breakfast. That’s some heavy shit.
–86th & 2nd
Overheard by: Madison Parks
Woman, yelling into her cell in a thick Puerto Rican/New York accent: I had to call you. Guess what I’m thinking about right now? Guess! You know the little peanut man on the jar of peanuts? Him! The little peanut man.
–crosstown bus, 72nd & Lex
Queer: Here’s what I want you to do. First, I want you to spread chocolate on my chest. Then, I want you to spread some nougat, then some caramel and roasted peanuts. Then I want you to fuck me and call me Snickers.
–Fire Island
